At work, most of us think success hinges mostly on skills, deadlines, and tasks. Reality, though, often proves otherwise. Relationships, feelings, and subtle emotional wounds can shape our days far more than we imagine. In our experience, the soul’s suffering enters the workplace in ways few expect, yet those effects ripple out, sometimes for years. We believe understanding these deep pains can help us foster healthier, more connected, and more sustainable workplaces—where growth feels natural, not forced.
What do we mean by the “pains of the soul”?
When we speak of “pains of the soul,” we are not referring to physical pain or even clinical psychological diagnoses. Instead, we mean persistent emotional wounds—often invisible—that undermine our sense of self, belonging, or meaning at work. These are subtle, but in our experience, they are as real as any physical hardship.
The soul can ache in silence. So can a workplace.
Over time, we have recognized nine distinct pains that show up repeatedly in workplaces of every kind. They challenge connection, trust, and our ability to thrive as a group.
The nine pains of the soul in workplace relations
Each of the nine pains has its origin in unmet emotional needs, unresolved past experiences, or persistent systemic patterns. Let’s look closer at each, not just as abstract issues but as living realities in offices, meeting rooms, and digital calls everywhere.
- Exclusion
No one wants to feel left out. Exclusion can be obvious (ignored in a meeting) or subtle (not copied in an email, not invited to an informal chat). When people feel excluded, motivation and trust are among the first casualties. It makes belonging impossible—and belonging is one of our deepest needs at work.
- Rejection
This pain emerges when our contributions, presence, or even our personality are not accepted. If our ideas are dismissed again and again, the sense of rejection can turn work into an exhausting struggle.
- Humiliation
Public criticism, sarcastic remarks, or subtle mockery can leave deep emotional scars. When humiliation cycles persist in a workplace, the climate of psychological safety vanishes. Suddenly, honest feedback and creativity disappear too.
- Injustice
Few things poison workplace relations quite like perceived injustice. If effort goes unrecognized, decisions seem arbitrary, or rewards flow unevenly, resentment often blooms. Eventually, performance drops—and so does trust in leadership.
- Betrayal
Betrayal happens when trust is shattered: promises not kept, confidential conversations leaked, support withdrawn at the moment of need. For the betrayed, rebuilding trust is often a long journey.
- Abandonment
The pain of abandonment appears when someone feels unsupported or forgotten, especially during challenging times. This feeling can arise from absentee managers, teammates who distance themselves, or sudden restructuring.
- Disrespect
We all wish to be treated with dignity. Disrespect shows itself in dismissive comments, ignored boundaries, or being talked down to. Disrespect damages connection faster than almost any other workplace behavior.
- Control
Some environments are built on rigid hierarchies and micro-management. This pain shows itself as a lack of autonomy or being forced into roles and actions against one’s better judgment. Over time, it can generate feelings of helplessness and resentment.
- Abuse
The most severe of the pains, abuse might be emotional, verbal, or, in rare cases, physical. When abuse goes unchecked, workplace wellbeing collapses.
How these pains show up at work
Often, we encounter these pains in combination. A culture that tolerates disrespect, for example, might also see frequent injustice and exclusion. In our work, we have seen how these pains can quickly establish a kind of group norm—forcing everyone to play along or leave.
Behavioral signs include:
- People holding back their real opinions
- High turnover or frequent sick leaves
- Avoidance of difficult conversations
- Cliques and persistent gossip
- Cynicism and lack of engagement
Pain in the soul often hides behind what people refuse to say out loud.
What triggers these pains?
Every workplace is a living system. Just as individual people have histories, so do teams and organizations. Sometimes, these pains arise from personal history—old wounds triggered by new situations. Other times, the group’s behaviors or institutional setup reinforce the same cycles.
Common triggers include:
- Rapid growth or sudden layoffs
- Poor communication from leadership
- Lack of recognition or reward
- Ambiguous roles or undefined expectations
- Values misalignment between people and the organization
Even in the most “positive” teams, these patterns can emerge, usually at times of stress or change.
Can we recognize these pains in ourselves and others?
Yes—and we think this is a key first step toward healing. Emotional intelligence, regular reflection, and open dialogue create the environment where people can name their pain without shame. Managers, especially, need to learn to recognize not just disengagement but its possible deeper cause.
Signs might include:
- Withdrawal from meetings or collaboration
- Drop in work quality or enthusiasm
- Frequent conflicts between the same people
- Reluctance to step forward for new tasks
Recognition is the beginning of change.
How healing can begin
We believe real healing starts with awareness and honest conversation. This does not mean group therapy during every meeting. Instead, it calls for genuine interest in people’s experience and a willingness to change course when old patterns resurface.
Some practical steps:
- Foster spaces where feedback does not lead to retaliation
- Acknowledge past mistakes or injustices if they exist
- Encourage small rituals of care, like regular check-ins that go beyond tasks
- Set clear expectations for respect, and model them from the top
- Be patient—soul-level healing is not instant
Workplaces that honor human experience create the ground for trust and growth.
Shifting from pain to maturity
In our research, we have found that facing pain openly can lead to new forms of maturity for both teams and individuals. Relationships built on respect and responsibility have more room for creativity and innovation. Even mistakes become opportunities, not threats.
None of this is simple. But if enough people start small—by listening, by naming what they feel, by refusing to play old games—a different workplace can emerge. One where people are not only productive but also genuinely happy to be present.
The soul’s healing begins with recognition and a gentle choice to act differently.
Conclusion
We have seen that awareness of the nine pains of the soul can transform workplace dynamics in deep and lasting ways. These pains are not always visible, but their effects are felt by everyone. In our view, bringing them into the light allows for conscious growth, real trust, and a sense of purpose that benefits individuals and organizations.
Recognizing and addressing the pains of the soul turns the workplace into a space of true connection and growth.
Frequently asked questions
What are the nine pains of the soul?
The nine pains of the soul are exclusion, rejection, humiliation, injustice, betrayal, abandonment, disrespect, control, and abuse. These are emotional wounds that impact our well-being and the quality of our workplace relationships.
How do workplace relations affect the soul?
Workplace relations can either heal or deepen the soul’s pains. When work relationships are trusting, respectful, and inclusive, the soul thrives. If a workplace carries unresolved emotional wounds, individuals might feel isolated, threatened, or disconnected.
How can I heal workplace soul pains?
Healing begins with awareness and honest conversation. We recommend creating safe spaces for feedback, acknowledging harm, setting clear expectations for respect, and modeling healthy behaviors. Sometimes, professional support might be necessary for personal wounds.
Why do soul pains happen at work?
Soul pains at work can result from past trauma, poor communication, rapid changes, lack of recognition, and misaligned values. Because work is where we spend so much time, it can bring old wounds to the surface or create new ones when needs go unmet.
Can I prevent soul pains at work?
While it is not possible to prevent every pain, we can reduce their impact by fostering respect, open dialogue, recognition, and genuine inclusion. When people are heard and valued, soul pains find less ground to grow.
